What Needs to Change (by Danielle LaPorte)

Heyyyy. Freedom Fighters. Actually, I don’t love the term “Fighter”. Maybe “Crusaders” is better. Or “Lovers”. Let’s go With Freedom Lovers…

Dear Freedom Lovers,

This week’s Free and Clear exercise could be a bit of a downer, especially on top of all of the tragic things happening on the planet. But we need to see the muck we’re in so we can resolve to find a way out of it. Or through it.

You’re going to look at what you want to change in your life. That typically implies dissatisfaction. Sometimes, it’s been a long term, exhausting dissatisfaction. Serious fugh-ness. Or maybe it’s something that side-swept you and now you need to clean up the wreckage. Doing this kind of work is the difference between suffering and relief, mediocrity and real pleasure. Looking at this stuff directly is how you go from stuck and befughled (new word) to…Free and Clear.

There’s a layer of psychological refinement that we’re adding to this. You’re going to look at what needs to change WITHOUT laying a guilt or judgement trip on yourself (or anyone else). You’re observing, not criticizing. Criticism clouds your clarity.  Resist that destructive impulse and simply name what you’d like to change. It’s incredibly empowering to come from that “observer” position. 

One more layer to this: Don’t concern yourself with how you’re going to fix what’s bothering you. That kind of thinking can come later. FIRST: get clarity around what sucks and what you want to shift. Here we go…

Get out your journal to do the exercises below. Or download your WANT TO CHANGE worksheet HERE.


Note:

A) Don’t concern yourself here with being respectable or responsible. This is not the time for adulting. Just let it rip.
B) You can include personal AND world issues on this list. Whatever comes up for you.

This is a good time to recall what came up for you in the RETROSPECTION exercise from the first installment of Free and Clear. You’ve run through the HIGHLIGHTS of your last year. Now consider the LOWLIGHTS. That will point to what you want to change.

Answer any or all of these in any order:

  • In your life, what’s heavy, weighing you down, burdensome?
  • What do you fantasize about leaving or radically changing?
  • What have you bitched about on more than three occasions?
  • What would you love to never do again?
  • What are you tired of feeling, and what makes you feel that way?

There is no STEP 2 to “do”. Just sit with all of this for the next few days. Be with the discomfort, the muck, the frustration (and sometimes frustration can be a really invigorating emotion).

We’re not rushing in with a quickie little process on how to quickly change everything so you can quickly make everything better. Because that quickie shit never works. But more importantly…you might need to feel the power of your declaration. Maybe it’s the first time you articulated what and why something in particular needs to change. Great, hang out with that and let your psyche and your cells get the message.

It’s likely that whatever you want to shift has been bothering you for a while. It’s an annoying repetition. In which case, the impulse to FINALLY fix it is strong. In that case, hang out with the dissatisfaction for a bit longer and start having a good-bye conversation with it.

Dear Situation,
I’m getting ready to let you go. Thanks for teaching me a few things. I’m not sure how I’m going to fix this, but I’ve opened myself up for answers. Prepare for transformation.
Love and Clarity,
Powerful Me

We’re going to jam on this together. Live TODAY! HERE on Facebook at [12pm PST/ 3pm